Only In Her Dreams
by Solar Crystal Angel
Summary: Nel hid her envy from the world at Ichigo and Orihime's relationship. But what happens when Ichigo confronts her about it? (No longer one shot :D)
1. Prologue

A/N: Hi everyone! I'm back again :D. This time I'm going to try a hand at one shots and of course I'm starting with bleach :3. I actually had the pairing of NelxIchigo and some innocent mentions of IchigoxOrihime in my head but I decided to add on extra and throw in some minor NelxGrimmjow in the mix to see how it would be :3. Criticism is highly appreciated but please let it be constructive and not hurtful .. I'm new at this =^.^=

Overview: _He was never really hers to begin with... Still in her dreams she continued to hold him..._

* * *

><p><em>He was never really mine was he? Only in my dreams will I ever see him smile at me... That's how it's supposed to be... But why do I want more?<em>

As I stare into the moon of the human world, I can't help but think back on all the events that transpired over the past few years. As an arrancar and an espada no less, I expected to be dead... Then again, I wasn't the only one left alive.

"Oy, you still out here?"

"..."

"Ain't got a mouth now?"

Tossing an annoyed glance over my shoulder at Grimmjow, I frowned. "Don't you have a soul reaper to bother?"

"Oh? You mean the one you fell for?"

Narrowing my eyes, I raised my reiatsu to let him know he was damn near pushing it. With years came the tolerance but also the breaking points and Grimmjow was damn close to breaking one... And me breaking his bones.

"Easy there... Not in the mood for a fight right now."

"Then don't pick one." I turned away from him and got up.

"Comin' to check up on ya, strawberry's orders."

"So they are..." Looking down into the shouten, I tore my gaze away from Ichigo and Orihime sharing a piece of cake. Brushing my hair over my shoulder, I sonido'ed away to another rooftop far on the other side of town. Resting on that rooftop, I pulled my leg up to my chest and rested my chin on top of it. I hated bringing up topic's that included Ichigo these days... Stirs up feelings that I shouldn't have. For Christ sakes I've been around before he was born and yet I'm fawning over him like one of those horny high school girls that I see walking around everyday. "Ugh..."

"Thought I find you here."

'Speak of the devil...'

"Why you leave like that?"

"Oh no reason." I put up a fake smile to mask my discomfort as I faced him. That's another thing that came with age... Hiding your emotions with ease.

"Like I'll actually believe that... You sure your ok? Cause if Grimmjow did something..."

"Relax Ichigo, though he's a pain in the ass he did nothing..."

"This time yea..."

"..." Getting up, the night air was cool against my legs, ruffling the skirt that played around my thighs. Pulling the denim jacket over my tank top, I prepared to take off again when a hand laid against my shoulder.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"... Some place." I turned to look at him, his gaze not fazing me.

"You've been distant lately."

He removed his hand away from my shoulder and I turned to completely face him. "No I haven't."

"Then why did you leave after we cut my birthday cake?"

By we... He means him and Orihime... And though I feel bad I can't help but feel jealous of her... Jealous of their perfect relationship... Jealous that it's not me and him. "Needed some air."

"Not buying it."

"Whatever you say." Turning away again, I felt him grab my hand this time and I snatched it away from him and turned to face him. "What do you want?"

"For you to tell me what's wrong."

"There's nothing wrong, if there was then I would let you know..."

"Orihime."

"What?"

"Is that what's wrong? Your jealous of her?"

Lowering my head, I glared at him from under my bangs. "Your foolish, you know that? Accusing me of being jealous of her..."

"I don't see you blatantly denying it either."

It was a stand still at that point, and I wasn't going to let him win. Walking past him, I only faltered when he grabbed my elbow.

"I know its her."

"... You know nothing." Yanking my arm free, I took off again and this time to some place farther...

* * *

><p>"... You don't know how to take a hint do you?"<p>

"Don't change the subject."

Looking at him barely, I swung my sandals over on my shoulder, their heels clicking against each other as my feet was caressed by the ocean. I was surprised actually that he found me at this part of the beach since its cut off and to get here you need to be some what of a good climber to get over the rocks.

"Answer me..."

"The truth is something you don't want to hear."

"Neither is the facade of my friend's obvious pain. You don't think people notice? Grimmjow may have not said anything but I've been approached by others who noticed the oddities."

"Such as?" He shook his head as he approached me. Stopping in front of me, gold met amber... Its funny how the two of them are so close on the color spectrum yet there such different shades.

"Your such a liar..."

"... You should return to Orihime." I turned away only to be pulled back into him.

"Did I say I was done?"

"No... I..." My sentence was cut off when I felt lips descend upon mine. Pushing him away, a felt the faint sensation of heat arise to my cheeks.

"... What?"

"Were both taken..." Though I never said anything to anyone, I could technically be considered in a relationship with the former ex-sexta espada.

"For one night... Please..."

His eyes held nothing but sympathy and I didn't want that...

"Please."

Dropping my sandals, I discarded my jacket and turned to face him. "... No contract?"

"None."

His lips were upon mine again and this time I responded back. I let him have entrance to my mouth as I interlocked my arms around his neck pulling him closer. His hands were cool as I felt him slide under my shirt and undo the flimsy bra that I put on to retain some modesty. Pulling away, I removed both my shirt and my bra.

"Neli..."

"No words." Kissing him again, I slid his shirt off and admired his abs and traced lightly over the scars that marred his tan body. His hand suddenly came and grabbed both my wrists easily and before I knew it my back was pinned against the rock while my neck was being attack and had darkening marks forming already. Biting back a moan, I shivered at the slightest of breath that was blown on my skin.

"No holding back either."

Letting out a surprised gasp, I brought him down for a kiss as I felt his fingers toy gently with my chest. Letting out a moan in his mouth, I whined as he pulled away.

"Relax."

Gently he picked me up bridal style and carried me over to a flat bed of rocks a little further off that was stable enough to support us. Laying me down on the rocks, I had no time to think as his lips descended down my collar bone to my left breast while his hand toyed with the right one. Arching into his touch, I let all sense of loyalty flee as I took in the new feeling of lust. Changing sides to give it the same stimulation, I was unable to form coherent sentences about how I felt.

"Now whose the one speaking?"

Glaring up at him, I saw my reflection in his eyes and instantly felt guilty. 'What the hell am I doing? This is my best friend boyfriend and here I am about to fuck him!'

"Having any second thoughts?"

Looking up into dazed amber eyes, I shook my head no.

"Good."

Kissing him again, I felt the air now more on my thighs and realized that he un-did the button on my skirt. Sliding it off, I was now only left in a pair of white lacy panties which were damp and soaking the rock beneath us. Blushing, I heard a chuckle escape Ichigo's lips.

"Never knew how bad it was."

Moaning loudly as I felt him press his fingers against my sex, I bit my lip just in case someone was around.

"What was that? I didn't hear you."

Pressing into me again, I whined and refused to let out another sound.

"Now, now Neliel, what did I say?"

I felt the shift of fabric against me and I groaned in pleasure.

"No holding back..."

I felt two of his fingers slide into me and I let out a loud moan that was pent up in my throat. I wasn't a virgin cause Aizen made sure of that but this felt different... Like how sex was supposed to be... Passionate and a bit wild...

"Shit your tight."

Closing my eyes, I thanked Kiskue that he gave me this gigai or else all hell would be breaking loose for whoever could sense spiritual energy but I wasn't sure if the limiters that were placed on this thing were going to hold very long. Moving back and forth, I moaned louder as I felt him add another finger and increase the speed of his fingers. "Oh god..."

"Call me Ichigo."

Before I had a change to retort I bit down hard on my lip as I felt his thumb press against my clit. It didn't take long for me to come afterward. Trying to catch my breath, I looked threw half lidded eyes at Ichigo licking his hand clean while looking back at me. He stood up and I noticed the outline of his erection that strained against the fabric of his denim jeans. Whimpering, I saw him look down then look back up at me smirking.

"You sure?"

Nodding, I stared up at the moon again and closed my eyes hoping to form some sense of what was happening.

"Neliel."

Opening my eyes again once I felt the light leave, I stared into darkened amber eyes. "Do it." Kissing me, I felt him enter me in one thrust and I broke off the kiss to moan into the night.

"Neliel..."

I felt his body shake as he tried to hold back from pounding me into oblivion. Touching the side of his face, I whispered into his ear gently. "Ichigo... Please..." That did it... In a instant my wrists were pinned again and my legs were around his waist as I felt him slam himself into me repeatedly. Letting caution go, I felt the restraints on the reiatsu limiters in the gigai break and in that instant violet crashed with black in a flurry of colors and melded. His kisses were brutal but that only drove our lust up higher. "Ichigo! Ichigo! Ichigo!" My voice was like a mantra as i felt my climax near.

"Fuck... Nel..."

More of our spiritual energy melded together as we continued our secret tryst. The more that was released the more we seemed to fall deeper into our taboo... "Ichgio!" Falling down deeper, my body was overcome with the feeling of pleasure and lust that coursed over me... Finally something snapped and I screamed his name out into the heavens. "Ichigo!" I heard him growl possessively before biting me and releasing inside of me...

"..."

"..."

Nothing was said between us as we pulled apart and redressed. Once finished, he walked over to me and kissed me once more before pulling away sadly. That is all that I needed. Nodding, we made our way back to the other side of the beach and back to the party...

* * *

><p>"Oh my god what happened?"<p>

"Was there a hollow attack? I didn't sense any spiritual pressure from the hollow!"

As we were bombarded with questions, I saw the stares from Grimmjow and I knew that he could tell what happened.

"Everything is fine, we were just sparring right?"

I put on my fake smile again. "Yea, had some anger I needed to release."

"Oh Nel-chan!"

I tensed up slightly when Orihime hugged me, the memories of what just happened swimming around in my head. Smiling again, I hugged her before ruffling her hair. "Don't worry, I'm fine now"

"That's a relief."

Walking over to Ichigo, she hugged him and I had to turn my head away when I saw them kiss. It was unfair that she would never know...

* * *

><p>"Happy now?"<p>

"... Guess so."

"No and, ifs, or buts?"

I leaned against the blue haired arrancar and we both stared up into the moon. "No... Can't be..."

"Why's that?"

Looking up at him, I smiled truly for the first time in a while. "He was never mine to begin with... Only in my dreams..."

* * *

><p>AN: End of the one shot! But for some reason now I wanna continue it :/ Should I or should I not?


	2. Chapter 1

A/N: Hi everyone! I'm back again :D. This time I'm going to try a hand at one shots and of course I'm starting with bleach :3. I actually had the pairing of NelxIchigo and some innocent mentions of IchigoxOrihime in my head but I decided to add on extra and throw in some minor NelxGrimmjow in the mix to see how it would be :3. Criticism is highly appreciated but please let it be constructive and not hurtful .. I'm new at this =^.^=

Update: So I have looked on and seen that ppl want me to continue and I shall! :D

Overview: _He was never really hers to begin with... Still in her dreams she continued to hold him..._

* * *

><p>Chapter 1: Repeat and Rinse<p>

_2 weeks later..._

"Nel-Chan, you ok?"

"Hmm?" Looking up, I saw Ururu holding a broom and looking down at me. Smiling, I shook my head and turned to look at the cherry blossoms. "I'm fine, just a bit bored."

"Well there's always something to do around here since Jinta hardly does his chores."

"What was that?"

Pulling the shy girl down, I caught the fiery red heads ankle and hung him upside down in front of my face. "None of that, what have I told you?" The look on his face told everything and he nodded very quickly as to show he understood. Putting him down, he ran off into the shouten and disappear before I could see where he went.

"Thanks Nel."

"No problem." She got up and continued to sweep the porch and to help her out I got up and grabbed a rag to clean the windows and what not so she wouldn't be stuck with so much. Bending down to dip the sponge in the water, I felt someone come and hold my waist from behind me.

"I hope he is paying you."

'Shit.' Standing up, a warm wind blew and I saw orange and I knew it was him. I stayed away after the birthday party cause deep down I knew that desire was a bitch to manage and harder to control and yet he was here holding my waist.

"How have you been? Everyone is worried about you, they haven't seen you in a couple of days."

Pulling away, I walked back over to the window and started to clean another panel. "Is it a crime?"

The orange haired vizard sighed at the cold attitude and walked over to the ex-tereca espada. "What has happened since then?"

"Nothing much, I've been helping out Urahara and them in the shop and running errands back and forth."

"Ok."

'Why is he here?' A warm hand was placed over mine and I looked into liquid amber and the night that happened two weeks ago replayed in my mind.

"Are you sure your ok? You seem tense... Is it cause of me?"

Backing up, I snatched my hand away and ran back into the shop and into mine and Grimmjow's room. The sponge had dropped while I as outside but I dared not go back outside, my heart was racing wildly and I closed my eyes to try and rid myself of all these feelings but they intensified as the image of our climax kept replaying over and over. Sliding down against a wall in the room, I saw that my blue haired lover was out as usual and it didn't bother me so much anymore. Heading under the covers, I tossed off my tee and slept in a wife beater and the shorts I wore hoping it would help me relax as I drifted off to sleep.

"... Later."

* * *

><p>"Mmm, what time is it?" The digital clocked blared in a bright blue it was after ten and I got up. "I must have slept the whole day." The air was humid enough so I decided not to toss the tee back on and headed out back and hopped up on the roof. Laying down, each star seemed like a diamond that decorated a beautiful dress of midnight blue. "..."<p>

"You came back out."

Propping myself up, my mouth drop open when I saw him standing on the shingles and looking out to the city. He turned to me and started walking towards me with no clear emotion on his face. Getting up, I was ready to sprint when he caught my wrist and pulled me back to him.

"What is wrong?"

"Nothing, now let me go."

"You said that on my birthday and looked what happened."

A healthy blush dusted my cheeks and Im sure if my marking was on my face that would have been covered too. "How dare you..."

"You didn't seem to mind then and I don't think you mind now either."

He was right unfortunately, I wanted to protest but the words were stuck in my throat and yet the feeling of desire was expressed between the valley of my thighs and the longing look in my eyes.

"Your not saying anything...You want something?"

I felt wandering hands on my backside and their tight grip pulling me into his body. Pushing away, I felt his hands slide under my shorts and I swatted them away. "No."

"Yes you do, I don't need words to vocalize what you want and why you don't. Trust me, that memory is implanted deep within my mind and it wont leave."

I was tired of the rambling and pulled him down for what I wanted in two weeks, a searing kiss that sent pleasure straight down from my head to feet. 'No, Orihime.' That made me pull away and regret what I was doing again. I promised myself I wouldn't do this again and here I was near close to begging him to just take me. Before I knew it, I was up in the air being held by..."Ichigo!" 'Holy crap, did I hear him just growl?'My legs were forced around his waist to prevent me from falling though I think I did it more from reflex and not wanting to be dropped. 'Don't beg, don't think, don't want.' "What the hell? Put me down now!"

"No. You want it, don't deny yourself what you want."

Biting my lip, I tried to get free when he sat down but to no avail. 'Shit he's strong.' Glaring at him, the sharpness they had was waning as his fingers traced the outline of my tee gently. His eyes danced back and forth between me and my breast which normally I would have swatted someone for it. 'But he isn't just someone...' I tried to push him away again but the kisses that peppered my neck crumbled my resolve. 'No, no,no,no,no...Oh screw it.' Leaning down, I kissed him again and ground my hips into him and we both moaned into each others mouths. He pushed me away for oxygen and a silver string of saliva connected us together.

"I thought you didn't want to."

"Just remember you brought this on yourself." Watching him un-button his shirt, I scratched his chest gently leaving a faint path down his abdomen and enjoying the hiss that escaped his lips. He helped me out of my shorts and shamefully to say I wasn't wearing any underwear. His eyebrow arched up and I looked away shyly. "It was hot and I wasn't really doing anything."

"Well now you are."

Before I could retort, he had exposed himself and next thing you know I was being lowered onto his shaft. Biting back a moan, I bit his lip hard enough to draw blood which drew a groan from him.

"Your making it hard not to let the world know who I'm screwing."

"Then kiss me and shut up." Again this was going to plague me but the sweet pleasure of being filled completely override any rational thoughts and I started ridding him without any restraint or care. Biting his neck, he tossed his head back in pleasure and from there everything fell out of control. Our bodies moved to a beat old as time and as the rhythm became easier to follow I felt him grab my hips and go harder. A slap of pain ran threw my hips but it just intensified my pleasure as I chanted his name under my breath so that it be less obvious to people who wandered by as to what we were doing. Thank the lord that the light poles were placed feet apart or else everyone would be getting a hell of a peep show and frankly I don't think neither one of us would care. Bucking off him, the sharp pleasure caused me to cry out loudly and lips were placed over mine before a sharp bite that drew blood brought me back down somewhat.

"Don't..."

Pushing him back down, the twitch I felt inside me showed the excitement was about to reach climax and I rode him harder and faster.

"Nel!"

Biting his neck, I sucked on it causing a deep purple mark to form and looked back up at him. "What was that?" 'Shit.' A couple of well aimed thrust and I was bowed back and biting my lip as another orgasm like last time took over me. I felt is seed enter me and I knew I was going to have to go to Urahara again and get something to prevent any pregnancy from happening. Laying on top of him, I heard his heart and traced over it lightly.

"... Nel..."

Looking up at him, I saw an emotion that I hope wasn't aimed at me. All the years I stood by Orihime, pushing her to go for him and standing by her when she needed the most ran threw my mind as I waited. They've been together now for almost five years and I prayed that they would make it for the rest of their lives. Then when those three little words slipped free my heart sank and shame hit me like a pile of bricks.

"I think I love you."

What the fuck have I done?

* * *

><p>AN: I want criticism and advice! And please tell me if it fits with the theme and tone of this story,I must please the readers! :D Love you guys! O:-)


	3. Chapter 2

A/N: Hi everyone! I'm back again :D. This time I'm going to try a hand at one shots and of course I'm starting with bleach :3. I actually had the pairing of NelxIchigo and some innocent mentions of IchigoxOrihime in my head but I decided to add on extra and throw in some minor NelxGrimmjow in the mix to see how it would be :3. Criticism is highly appreciated but please let it be constructive and not hurtful .. I'm new at this =^.^=

Update: So I have looked on and seen that ppl want me to continue and I shall! :D

Overview: _He was never really hers to begin with... Still in her dreams she continued to hold him..._

* * *

><p>Chapter 2: Aftermath and a feeling<p>

"You must stop this tryst with Ichigo Nel... Out of two things can come from this and neither is a good option."

"Who you tellin'." Closing my eyes, I let Urahara work on me in the gigai.

"You know how much this would kill Orihime if she found out."

I wanted to strangle the man there. "Of course I do and I dont want that to happen." And I barely managed to grit that out in a normal tone. I don't think he realized that I know what's at stake here and I was never a person to play games.

"Then why are you having sex with Ichigo?"

"I don't know." I exhaled. "Shit happens."

"Well it must happen a lot. Is he that good?"

Opening one eye, I was tempted to wipe that smirk off his face. "Keep smirking old man and see if I don't hurt you."

"I'm just saying it must be if you keep going back for more."

That's it. "Why you...!?"

"Lay still, the more you squirm the more it takes to fix you. Ichigo doesn't primarily take it easy on you does he?"

Biting my lip, I knew he meant it in a serious way more than a playful one.

"Damn limiters keep breaking."

"Ah!" Shaking in pain, the amount of spiritual pressure he had to use to set the limiters hurt like hell.

"You sure you don't want to exit the gigai?"

"I'm fine."

"Alright, but let me know if it gets too painful."

Closing my eyes, I felt the next wave of pressure and took it with stride. This pain was nothing compared to the guilt that was eating at my soul.

* * *

><p>"All done."<p>

Panting, I was sweating and trembling as I sat up. The process was only two hours but the amount of stuff that had to be done to repair the gigai was a lot. For one, blood was not something that could be easily replicated when attaching a soul to a fake body. So all the marks had to be healed manually. And that's just one of the lighter things that had to be fixed, I will not go into details on the others.

"Are you sure you can stand?"

"Yea." Swinging my legs down, as soon as my feet touched the floor I crumpled down and stayed there. Holding onto the side of the table, I managed to pull myself up but I fell right back down as soon as I got up on my feet.

"Thought so, you're still too weak from me fixing you up. Up you go!"

"Ack!" Clutching Urahara's shirt, I blushed as he carried me easily out in the hallway in front of Tessai.

"Relax, he's seen your gigai before."

"Hmph!" Crossing my arms, it did feel nice to not be handled like some freakin' package. "I know but it still doesn't put me at ease."

"Than how come you trust me?"

"Because I do."

"That's not a good reason."

Smiling, I stole his hat and put it on my head. "I'm a female, lets chalk it up as that." I heard him chuckle and sigh after that.

"Ah, the joys of being a female. Well, here we are."

I was placed on my feet and it took a moment but I was able to stand without my knees shaking. Using my hair to cover me, I stood to the side as Urahara opened the door.

"Oy! Close the door!"

'Oh gods.' Looking in the room, I saw Grimmjow lounging around on the futon. "Hey."

"Nel? What in the hell are you doing naked?"

"Long story but mind taking her Grimmjow?"

"Can't she walk?"

"I think so but I prefer if she didn't."

"Pheh, whatever. Commere."

I was swept up again from the ground and this time jostled like a package. Swatting his arm, I sent him a look for tossing me so roughly.

"Hush up, your fault for being so damn heavy."

"What was that?" Slapping him upside the head, I squealed kind of loud when I thought he was going to drop me.

"Alright, alright, enough you two. Grim stop being so mean and Nel stop abusing him."

"Oh fine."

"Anyway, let me get some sleep. Need to be up early to run the shop."

"Alright get some sleep Urahara." Waving him off, I was carried into the room and covered my ears when the door was shut roughly. "Brute."

"Yea whatever. You okay?"

"Yea, sleepy though." Curling into him, I enjoyed the body heat he radiated off. "Urahara had to repair the gigai again."

"Stop seeing the strawberry and it wouldn't happen."

"Kitty jealous?" I heard a displeased growl from his throat.

"I will drop you this time for real, don't push your luck."

Smirking up at him, it quickly turned into a yawn and my eyes felt heavy. Fighting against sleep, I wanted to talk to Grimmjow a bit more about whatever was on my mind.

"Don't fight it, go to sleep and you can deal with whatever it is in the morning."

"Mmm, okay." I felt something soft, cool, and warm at the same time. You know, besides being a complete jerk and asshole, Grimmjow could be pretty sweet at times. 'Maybe it won't be hard to fall in love with you after all.'

* * *

><p>AN: Okay this was rushed and just came out of no where so I'm sorry if its meh. But I'll try to make it better when my brain decides it wants to work. Have a nice day guys!  
>~S.C.A<p> 


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